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"It's such a pleasure to meet you, Miss Banks," Mac said, propping one leg on the edge of his desk. "I'd ask for an autograph," with that he held up the latest issue of Pearl's comic book, "but I see your hands are tied." "Ha ha, that was SO funny," Pearl said with heavy sarcasm. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the pale man before her. "Black really isn't your color." Mac snorted. "Like you have any right to judge my taste? You who are a living ad for Wal- Mart?" "Nothing wrong with Wal-Mart clothes." Now her voice was slightly defensive. "One rarely gets rich writing comic books, you know." With a smile Mac bowed a little. "Of course, forgive me. Not all are as fortunate as me. I forget myself." With a bit of affected snobbery, he lit a cigar and took a deep puff. "Anyway, let's change the subject to something more entertaining, like your fiance for example." "He's not my fiance!" Pearl snapped. "And would you put that thing out? I really do not want to die from your second hand smoke." Mac blew his next puff on the giant coffin nail into Pearl's face. Delighting in listening to her cough. "Well, fiance or not, he'll be here to try and save you. He's honorable. A terrible trait." Shaking his head, Mac continued to puff on the cigar. "Of course he and I both know this is a trap. Been there, done that. This time however it's you who's the bait rather then his," Mac shuddered, "mother. You know I'm still repairing the fire damage to my dining room?" Snorting, Pearl said, "You're SO predictable, Mac. You're the stereotypical villain right down to the shoes. Of course with a name like Machiavelli your parents were probably hoping for a bad guy for a son." Mac stabbed his cigar into the ashtray like the dagger he'd dearly love to drive into Pearl's bountiful chest. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Well, since you're dying anyway - My name's not Machiavelli." Raising her eyebrows, Pearl asked, "What is it?" The first time he muttered it, but when pressed Mac sighed out, "Bernard MacDonald." A laugh bubbled in Pearl's throat but she swallowed it. "Bernard MacDonald? You're not even Italian?!" "I am too!" Mac declared, "Well, 1/18th." He suddenly seemed a little deflated. "Machiavelli sounds so much more evil. Would you ever name a bad guy Bernard? The kids in school use to tease me something awful.... Bad enough to be an albino, but also named Bernard?" "Oh boo hoo!" Pearl snapped. "You think you were picked on? Even in college people threw food at me and mooed or oinked! Add to that being bisexual, white, and a Christian - that's right, Christian, don't look at me like that, being bi doesn't make me an atheist - and you've got the most picked on woman in Southern California!" Mac looked at Pearl for a moment. Then shook his head. "I should've gagged you." "You should've made something of your life instead of being a common scum bag crook." Pearl replied. For this a glass of brandy was thrown in her face. Mac roared for his guards and Pearl was dragged out, chair and all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wu had seen and heard all from his little hiding space behind the wall of Mac's office. An old building, there was just enough space between walls for him to slide thru. Dust and rotting insulation at first caused him to long to sniffle and sneeze. Since the first time he found it though he had taken to wearing a disposable mask as one would wear when mixing cement or using a power saw on wood and a small pair of goggles meant usually for people who worked with chemicals. He had dug a small hole next to a large painting. Actually there were several holes in this spot in a row. The first seven right behind the painting and the last next to the frame. Wu hadn't wanted to damage the painting as he knew it had been stolen from an old man - it had been painted by his son who died in Vietnam war and losing it caused the old man to die from grief. Wu vowed one day he'd steal it back and give it to the old man's granddaughter. She had been, of course, the product between a liaison between the son and a Vietnamese woman. Unlike most soldiers, however, the son had taken responsibility for the child born of this forbidden union and sent the child and mother to live in America with his father. Now the mother and grandfather were both dead and the daughter was alone in the world - well, except for her lover, Christine. Now knowing the history of the painting one would wonder why Mac would bother with a painting by an unknown dead man. Well, it was just that Mac wanted it. And what Mac wanted Mac got. Worthless or valuable. Dismissing the thoughts of the daughter from his mind, Wu thought about Pearl's situation and how he'd get her out of this. He stepped back from the hole and moved slowly thru the narrow passage. As Wu moved down the passage he accidently stepped on the tail of a rat. The rat screeched and tried to bite him. Wu swiftly kicked the rat out of the way. Unfortunately for Wu on the other side of the wall was a very large ex-pro wrestler who was trying to take a nap. He was angry to be woken up and his fist slammed thru the drywall and plaster just inches in front of Wu's nose. Yanking his arm free, the wrestler - wearing very large, custom made teddy bear pyjamas and a sleeping cap - ripped out the majority of the wall. Wu gave him a tiny wave just before the wrestler pulled him out of the wall. "You interrupted my nap!" He snarled at Wu, his breath hot and having that rancid just woke up smell. "Sorry," Wu stammered, wishing his feet weren't three feet off the ground. His goggles and mask had been knocked all askew. Removing the former his eyes opened wide. "Hey! Aren't you Steel Rock? Oh man when I was a kid I use to fantasize about being you. Could I have your autograph?" Wu was partway telling the truth, but he was also hoping to charm the washed-up wrestler into putting him down. "How about I autograph your face?!" As Steel pulled back his fist two men came in. "Yo, Maurice! What's going on in here? We could hear the rumpus all the way in the.... GOOD GOD!" The man exclaimed as he saw Wu. "Oh man! You are SO gonna get rewarded for capturing Wu!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pearl blinked as the water drop hit her face. Tied to the floor, she snarled. "Chinese water torture! Can you get more stereotyped?! God, even most non-talented comic book writer wouldn't use this! They'd know better!" "Heck," Wu said as he turned his head a bit to look at Pearl, "it's not even the real thing. Mac's just too lazy to look it up." The both Pearl and Wu were tied with their arms above their heads and their ankles tied together below them so they were stretched out as if on a rack. The room they were in was damp and smelly and above their heads were two water faucets turned on just enough that they could watch the drops form and fall on their faces. "Figures." Pearl sighed heavily. "What a dork. Though I have to admit -" she paused as another drop hit her face, "it's really getting on my nerves." "Just take your mind off of it," Wu said, enduring another drop in the face. "Though I don't know how." Pearl paused in thought, then with a grin she began to sing, "Fish heads, fish heads, rolly-poly fish heads. Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum!" At first Wu didn't know what Pearl was doing, then with a grin as she sang the chorus of the Barnes & Barnes song, he joined in with the rest. "In the morning laughing, happy fish heads. In the evening, floating in the soup...." For awhile they were able to distract themselves with comical songs. Pearl had a really great voice. Wu really couldn't sing well at all but at least he wasn't thinking as much about the water dripping in his face or the pressure in his bladder from the dripping water. When they got thru their tribute to Weird Al they laughed. "That was strangely fun," Pearl chuckled, "kind of like hanging with your mother. Though I have to admit if I have to listen to her ideas of sex anymore I'll scream!" Taking a deep breath, and coughing because just then a drop of water fell into his open mouth, Wu said, "Before she met my father, my mother was a prostitute. That's why my mom is so open about sex and why my paternal grandparents wanted to take me away from her. So she came to America and became a stripper." There was a pause, "She loved my father, more then anything. She never was with another man after him. Women yes, but she never loved them or stayed with them for long. Still, she did everything could to make sure I had a good life. The best education." "Sounds like a very special mom." Pearl endured another drop of water. "Don't get me wrong, I love mine, she's done a lot for me too, but I hate how she treats my father when we're at home. His outburst of temper is a rare thing. Still, they've been very supportive. Even help pay for promotional stuff for my comic book though they dislike the main character." They talked like this for awhile. Getting to know each other, cracking jokes. No one came to get them, of course Pearl could see the cameras watching them, waiting for them to crack. "You know, Pearl, you're something else," with a grin, Wu turned his head to look at her. "You want to get married?" "Yeah, sure, why not?" Pearl grinned back. "It could be fun, being married to you. Lord knows my parents wouldn't end up tied up in a dank basement." "That does it!" Mac said as he entered the room. "Enough of this happy sappy crap! Wu, tell me where the statue is," taking a gun from his jacket he aimed it at Pearl, "or your cow of a fiance dies." "Moo!" Pearl said just before her feet came up and knocked the gun from Mac's hand. All the time they had been talking and singing, Pearl had found that the cement had been weaken from the dampness. With a little squirming she had been able to pull her spikes free - somedays it paid off to be over weight as it was her extra weight that helped her get the spikes out. While she couldn't jump to her feet, at least she bought some time. Wu had noticed the same thing but despite how strong he was he didn't have the extra leverage that Pearl had. Plus he was injured still. Pearl's act allowed him the few seconds he needed to free his spikes from the floor. Wincing in pain as he jumped to his bound feet. Tied up or not, broken bones or not, Wu still managed to wail on Mac. Spinning on his bound feet and wacking Mac upside the head with the bound hands. The spike lashing around and striking the back of Mac's head and cutting the scalp. Meanwhile Pearl had managed to get her hands untied by working at the knot with her teeth. She was right in the middle of freeing her feet when Mac's men came in. In a frantic half-dive half-crawl, Pearl got Mac's gun and shot at the light bulbs in the ceiling. It was sheer luck, but she managed to knock the entire place into darkness. Wu felt a soft, warm hand grab his, then the ropes loosened. There was a warm kiss on his cheek that sent tingles down his spine and then he could feel as the heat of Pearl's body moved down his legs and the ropes around his ankles came free. They tried to get past the bad guys, barreling thru them in the darkness towards the light at the top of the stairs. Hand in hand they fought their way up the stairs. "I feel like I'm in some bad action flick," Pearl commented. "We're getting shot at and still we manage to get past the bad guys unharmed." "Jackie Chan eat your heart out," Wu joked as he kicked a bad guy back down into the darkness, knocking back the ones following including Mac. Of course at the top of the stairs were more of Mac's hired goons, including Steel Rock. Wu paused for a moment. Unsure what to do. He knew first hand how strong Steel was. Pearl however didn't know. At some point she had tied the two spikes from her ropes together and now swung them around like some weird cross between nunchakus and bolos. She launched them and they wrapped around Steel's throat. While he was distracted Wu grabbed up a tiny table and used it to battle with the men and Steel. Amazingly he was able to knock the guns faster from their hands then they could shoot. Unfortunately, the table smashed to pieces against Steel's massive chest. He grabbed Wu by the throat and lifted him up in the air. "Wu! Split kick!" Pearl shouted to her choking fiance. Now Wu of course wanted to ask her if she was crazy, but instead both his legs lashed out to either side, catching one bad guy and sending him thru the door and down the basement stairs. The other slammed into a wall and was knocked out. While he did that Pearl kicked Steel right in his groin. The massive wrestler dropped Wu and curled up into a tiny ball, clutching himself and whimpering. Pearl slammed the basement door closed and then grabbed Wu and ran. There was nothing to block the door with and Pearl was already out of breath, but she pushed on despite her own problems. Wu took over the lead and took Pearl up the stairs. Now it was Pearl who wanted to ask if Wu was crazy. But she didn't have the breath to. She didn't know when but at some point they burst out onto the roof. Awaiting them was a helicopter. A black man leaned out and shouted at them to hurry up. They were almost in as Mac and the others came rushing out to the roof top. Mac fired and Pearl stumbled. Losing her footing even as the copter started to raise up into the air. Wu held onto one of her hands while her other clung to the landing bar. Blood stained her side. Another shot caught her in the shoulder. She let go of Wu's hand and nearly dislocated her other shoulder when she came to a jerking halt as they were flying off. Yet somehow she managed to grabbed back on and with Wu's help she was dragged into the copter. Blood was everywhere. There was a deep wound in Pearl's side near her liver. "Arnie...." Wu said, his face drained of blood. "Hold on, man," Arnie said, "changing course for the hospital." Arnie grabbed for the radio even as he turned the copter. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The saw cut thru the last section of the frame, just stopping short of the painting. The right side and part of the bottom of the frame fell away and the painting slid out easily. It was placed into a long black bag. The saw was placed in another bag. "Good job, Mrs. Wey," Wu said to his wife, giving her a kiss even though he was upside down. Smiling, Pearl kissed him back. "Thank you, Mr. Wey." Giving her rope a light tug she sent herself back up. Wu followed suit. Up the roof Mac was already waiting. His latest thing now was to wear red. Everything was red. His silk shirt, his jeans, his shoes. He even had a ring made of red jade carved in the shape of a rat, the year he was born in. "This time you two aren't getting away." Mac said, pulling forth his gun. Behind Wu and Pearl several more people popped up with more guns. "Now hand over that painting." "It's going to the artist's daughter, like it or not," Wu said even as a familiar sound started to fill the air. With a grin to his wife he nodded. The smoke bombs launched out of both of Pearl's hands, one landing at the feet of Mac and the other in front of the men behind them. As they both grabbed and started climbing the ladder dropped down to them, Pearl called out, "Good night, Bernard!" Wu gave his wife's butt a pinch. "Get up that ladder, woman, and stop flirting with the bad guys!" With a giggle Pearl finished climbing up the rope. Inside of course was Arnie, but in the back seat where tourists normally sat was Chiu. "Mom!" Wu exclaimed, "What are you doing here?" Chiu gave her son and daughter-in-law a stern looks. "We're going to the tea leaf reader! I want to know when I can expect my first grandchild!"
~~The End~~
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